


phd in texting

by sleepees



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-03-03 15:28:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13344105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepees/pseuds/sleepees
Summary: reylo (wholesome university au) - crushing on your awkward TA is totally inappropriate, until he asks for your number.





	1. bundle up

**Author's Note:**

> hi hi.... i havent written fanfic in like years so this might be awkward haha. reylo is the new dramione am i right????????????

**1:04PM**

Rey hates being late (although five minutes late isn't _really_ late). It's not even like she missed anything - but being late makes her anxiety spike, and this class has her anxiety levels at an all time high already. Not because she can't handle the workload, or anything like that, it's something she can't quite place (or, she definitely can place it - but she would never admit it).

"And now Ben is going to talk a bit about the upcoming exam. Nothing too scary, guys! Just the usual guidelines. I make Ben talk about the boring stuff so I don't have to, as you all know." Luke Skywalker's warm, calming voice breaks her thought process as she slips into the small lecture hall.

Shuffling into a seat close to the front, she keeps her head down because she is not ready to triple her stress levels by making eye contact with Luke's TA. This is the last class for the semester, and then she'll be free. Not that she didn't enjoy this class - she loved this class. It was by far one of the best she had taken in her time at University of Alderaan... except for _one small exception_ named Ben Solo.

"Hello," his low voice echoes throughout the lecture hall, "I'm Ben. You know this by now."

There's light laughter, and she glances up to catch Ben Solo's sheepish grin as he looks down at the floor, shifting his weight between his feet and his hands pulled tightly behind his back. Rey finds it hard tell if his specific brand of charm is calculatedly awkward, or actually just that awkward - though it's easy to compare his stilted speech pattern to Luke's conversational tone and conclude that Ben Solo is probably just a deeply uncomfortable person.

As Ben goes over the guidelines for the upcoming exam, Rey tries to find a place to look that doesn't feel inappropriate - but she finds her thoughts drifting to how broad his shoulders are, the deep timbre of his voice, the muscles in his forearms.... glancing was a mistake. Glancing was a _big_ mistake, because he looks directly at her as he finishes talking, and she swears that his eyes linger. The pause before he continues speaking feels tangible, as if he has to catch his breath. Ben finally breaks eye contact and exhales, releasing his hands from behind his back. 

Okay, she's probably reading into this. Like, definitely a lot.

"If you have any further questions, Luke and I will both be here after class. Please send me an e-mail should you have any problems accessing the review sheet on the course website." Ben stands silently for a brief moment, then simply says "okay" before turning on his heels and walking briskly to his seat, two rows in front of her.

Luke takes over, fiddling with the microphone attached to his belt and switching it on before proceeding with the lecture. Rey cracks her laptop open, pulling up a fresh doc and tucking one foot under her knee. She actively tries to not look at the back of Ben Solo's head, and fails at least seven times over the next two hours. Though she's only counting when she looks longer than fifteen seconds. She also doesn't count the two times he's looking over his shoulder when she looks at him.

"And that's the last lecture for the semester. I'd like to thank you all, and I look forward to seeing some of you in the spring." Applause fills the small lecture hall, and Luke's wry smile fills her heart. There is so much about academia she doesn't enjoy, but this class makes her feel like the risks she took to be at university is worth it.

Rey packs up quickly but then lingers in her seat, backpack over her shoulder. One of her knees shakes uncontrollably, and she doesn't get why she's so nervous about just walking past Ben Solo (okay, she gets why, but admitting you have an actual crush on your teacher is so corny).

(Okay, teacher is a little far. He's just a PHd student and only, like, five years older than her, she's pretty sure. Not that she stalked him on facebook.)

Rey stands up and inhales, eyes glued to the door, which Ben Solo is conveniently positioned in front of, with his arms crossed like some kind of guard. That's dramatic - he's just listening to a conversation between Luke and a student. This is so annoying. All she needs to do is walk past him.

Her heart rate elevates the closer she gets to him, reaching its peak when she brushes past him, giving him a small, awkward smile and head nod. Classic normal human interaction. Totally appropriate.

"Rey," The softness in his voices gives her what she's going to go ahead and classify as a chill. "Could I... can I ask you... a question?"

She thinks she says yes - at least, she definitely nodded.

Ben places his hand on her back and leads her away from Luke and the short line of students forming. His hands are clasped behind his back again, and he leans over her in a way that is almost intimate - the height he has on her makes him bend his head toward her, and his large shoulders curl inward.

"I was wondering if I could take you out to dinner." His voice is low and gentle, and she can't help the smile she feels growing on her face. Rey can't believe after this entire year of her internal narrative of stolen glances and secret crushes that Ben Solo is asking her out for dinner.

"Yes!" she answers faster and more enthusiastically then she intended to, but she doesn't even care.

Ben smiles and pulls out his phone, unlocking it and opening a new contact page before holding it out to her. Rey takes the phone in her hand and feels herself blush when she sees that he has typed _Rey_ already (a completely normal thing to do, she reminds herself). She quickly types her number in and hands the phone back.

"I'm free tonight," she blurts out. "If, um, you are. If not, it's fine. Um. Just text me." Rey ducks her heads and attempts to escape, feeling like she may have already ruined this by making is a hundred times more awkward.

"I am"

"What?"

"I am free. Tonight."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Um. Maz Kanata's?"

It takes a moment for him to reply, and she notices his eyes flicker over to Luke. "Eight?"

 

* * *

 

**4:15PM**

On her walk home through campus, Rey can't stop smiling. She starts mentally reliving so many moments she fantasized was loaded with meaning over the course of the semester, from their occasionally _waytoolongforcomfort_ eye contact, to that one e-mail he sent to just her about a symposium on force techniques.

_I saw this and thought it would interest you._

_Ben_

She screenshot that email and sent it to her roommate Rose, who responded promptly with multiple emojis, and then a kindofdirty text about how he was totally into her and honestly probably deeply in love with her and -

Rey's phone lights up.

NEW MESSAGES (4)

One is from from Rose, and three are from from an unsaved number.

> _There is supposed to be a snow storm tonight - I would recommend bundling up._  
> _This is Ben Solo, by the way._  
> _I am looking forward to our date._

All at once, Rey's suspicions that Ben Solo's charming awkwardness is genuine are confirmed, and she adores it. She loves that he texted her within an hour of getting her number, and she loves that he told her to _bundle up_. And then followed it up with _two_ texts, both of them equally awkwardly sweet.

> thanks. me too!

Rey presses send, then bites her lip. Should she have written more? He sent her three texts... what if he reads _thanksmetoo_ as dismissive, or uninterested? She starts typing _I'm excited to finally_ nope nope nope _I can't wait for_ no don't say that -

> only four hours :)

Rey erases the emoticon. Then re-types it and presses send again, and quickly clicks create new contact and types in Ben before them immediately screenshotting her text chain and opens her conversation with Rose, who was asking if she'd want to order in food tonight, and sends it just like she sent that email. This is one hundred times juicier.

> _OMG BEN AS IN BEN SOLO?? "OUR DATE"?? LOL GIRL WAIT WHERE R U_  
  
Rose's excitement just fuels Rey's.

> on my way home. U done yet?  
> _ya i havent left yet though. meet u by the fountain bb????_  
> ok see u soon!!!!

One more text from Ben pops up right before Rey locks her phone.

> _8 can't come soon enough._


	2. i wouldn't offer if it wasn't okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updated! sorry for the slightly long wait. im trying to blend the star wars universe with the real universe by still having planets and the force and the jedi and stuff, but also lots of modern-day-but-still-the-future stuff. it might be kind of awkward at times! i hope it comes across. every chapter is probably going to be the title of an awkward ben solo text haha.

**5:18PM**

"Your life is literally a romance novel right now. Seriously Rey." Rose grips a pole on the train with one hand and idly spins around it, rocking on her heels.

"Romance novel is a little far! Maybe like, some made for teens TV show or something."

"Come on. This is a total fantasy for, like, every college student ever, probably."

Rey rolls her eyes and laughs, "Oh my god. _How_ is this a fantasy?"

"Dude. Your hot and mysterious TA basically asked you to bone down. How is this _not_ a fantasy?" Rose sighs dramatically, placing her hand over her heart and tilting her head back, "Oh Mr. Solo, if this is so wrong, why does it feel so right?"

"Oh my god. I'm never telling you anything ever again."

"Uh huh, sure."

The subway doors open with a _ping_ and the two of them shuffle off the train quickly while Rose continues her over-the-top impersonation of fantasy Ben. Rey gives her a light push and repeats _shut up_ a few more times as they giggle their way out of the subway tunnel and to the basement they were renting. The cold wind hits both of their faces as they emerge outside, and Rose lets out a fumbled groan, complaining about the _stupid fucking weather_ under her breath. Rey dips her nose into her scarf, wincing - she smiles and nods along when her friends complain about the winter weather, but she loves the sight of snow, the crispness of the air, the way everyone's noses turn red in the cold. There's something about it the biting cold that makes her feel warm.

 

* * *

 

NEW MESSAGES (0)

Ben's checked his phone way too many times in the past hour - half hoping Rey will text him again, the other half hoping that somehow the next 3 hours will have already passed. The first hour took forever.

"Leia's gonna love her."

Ben's head snaps up to look at Luke in the doorway of his tiny office (a literal broom closet). His uncle stands casually, wry smile plastered to his face (as always, it seems) and Ben can feel his face redden under Luke's knowing gaze. Luke Skywalker has a penchant for lifting Ben Solo up, while finding precise ways to frustrate him at the exact same time - as with the actual broom closet, Ben appreciates that Luke put the time and thought into cleaning out a private space for him to work (a rare occurence amongst TAs), while absolutely on purpose leaving the words 'BROOM CLOSET' etched in black on the door.

"Don't tell mom."

"I won't - but you know I'm right," Luke almost sings the word _riggg-hht_ and meanders away, having successfully crawled under his apprentice's skin in less than 15 words.

NEW MESSAGES (0)

**6:42PM**

Ben pulls in to the underground parking garage and turns off his car. As he trudges through the parking garage to the entrance to his apartment he starts digging through his bag for his phone. He's somehow resisted texting her for two and a half hours. Ben had managed to ask a fellow TA, Hux, about dating students and how frowned upon it was, hypothetically speaking. Hux and Ben had always had an odd sort-of-friendship - not so much 'friends' as whatever the tier above 'colleague' was. They didn't quite hang out, so much as they sometimes worked independently within the same vicinity and occasionally got food at the same time. Which is probably why Hux had made an almost-disgusted face when Ben asked about _dating_ of all things, before informing him succinctly that as long as whoever he was asking about was no longer his student, then there were no foreseeable problems.

Ben had just nodded after this explanation, and after a long pause Hux, leaning forward and staring intently at Ben over the top of his laptop, with his brows knit together and mouth drawn in a straight line, asked "is this more than hypothetical?"

One of the things Hux had mentioned was that you should never 'double-text'. Ben had done this immediately, having triple-texted Rey right off the bat. Hux had also told him that he should wait at least a little in between texts in order to cultivate an air of mystery. Hux was the least mysterious person Ben knew, however, so perhaps that was complete bullshit. Regardless, Ben wrote and rewrote all the texts he had sent her so far several times, but they always came out stilted.

Ben clicked his phone on as he stepped onto the elevator.

NEW MESSAGES (1)

> _h_ _ey! apparently Maz Kanata's closes early tonight since it's long weekend, I think around 9. Wanna go somewhere else?_

Ben was relieved by this, for two reasons: the first was that Maz was a family friend, and would no doubt tell at least one of his parents that he was on a date, and the second was that one hour was enough time to have a meal, but Rey was clearly interested in spending a longer period of time together.

His phone buzzed again.

> _maybe cloud city_ _?_

Going to Cloud City would be so much worse than going to Maz Kanata's would have been. Not only would Lando tell his parents at light speed, but he would probably go out of his way to embarass Ben in front of Rey. Maz at least had tact.

Of course _both_ of the two popular student bars were run by family friends - this was the biggest problem with living in the capital. Aldera was a sprawling city, but being the son of Leia Organa made it feel much, much smaller.

Ben had this idea before he had even asked her out, but Rey had suggested Maz's before he could get out the words he wanted. Maz closing early was like a sign that he should go ahead with this idea - something he had partially planned when he decided he was going to ask Rey out on the last class of the semester (no longer his student, Hux had said).

> This may be too forward, but perhaps I could cook for you tonight instead.  
> At my apartment.

Ben instantly regretted sending 'at my apartment' in a serparate text. It was implied that he would cook at his apartment, obviously. There was such a marked difference to the natural way she texted him - she sounded exactly the way she spoke over text. He knew he sounded awkward and unnatural when he spoke - often too quickly, in brief statements, and occasionally with too much aggression. Yet, Ben had never worried about the way he came off until Rey. Prior to meeting her, his matter-of-fact manner of speaking had always benefitted him in an academic setting, allowing him to speak directly and efficiently. Now, he worried he wouldn't come across the way he wanted.

> _that sounds amazing! where do you live?_

His heart skipped a beat. Which happens in real life, apparently.

> I could pick you up if that works. I have to pick up a few things for dinner anyways.  
> _o_ _h! if you're sure thats okay. thank you so much._  
> I wouldn't offer it wasn't okay. Let me know where you live, and I will pick you up around 7:30?

 

* * *

 

" _I wouldn't offer it wasn't okay_ ," Rose imitated in a deep voice, breaking out giggling again. They were both lying on Rey's bed, Rose reading the texts over her shoulder as Rey typed out the address to their apartment building.

"Oh my god. Stop it."

"You're smiling! You love this!"

Rey rolled on her back. "Maybe. It is pretty romantic."

"Try _super_ romantic! But now you have to wear sexy underwear, cause you're totally gonna hit it." Rose hopped off the bed and started digging through Rey's closet.

Rey whipped a pillow at her roommate's head. "I'm not hitting anything!"

She proceeded to change outfits approximately thirty times over the next hour before deciding on a more casual flower-print blouse tucked into a a pair of black pants. They were tight and high-waisted, which Rose claimed was the perfect blend of smart-sexy-chill. Rose helped Rey with her make-up - Rey had never really worn make-up before college, having grown up on Jakku where she was pretty much never in a situation where she might want to wear any. Rose happily gave Rey what she called an 'understated' look, since Rey wasn't all that comfortable wearing make-up, but kind of wanted to for at least her first date with Ben.

"You look hot, girl."

"Oh please."

 

* * *

 

**7:28**

Rey had told him to walk around behind the (old, but charming) townhouse, where there was a small staircase that went down to the basement apartment she shared with her roommate. Ben rang the doorbell - he could hear muffled voices and the sounds of movement before the door opened suddenly.

"Hi! Just let me get my coat on and I'm ready. You can come in!" She hopped away from him with one shoe on, trying to pull the other one on, disappearing into what was probably her bedroom. Ben waved awkwardly to the other girl who was a few feet back from the door, obviously spying. She waved back gleefully and smiled, taking a few steps forward and holding her hand out.

"I'm Rose. Rey's roommate."

"Ben. Nice to meet you."

"Oh, no, it's nice to meet _you_."

Rey reappeared, with what looked like a blush rising on her face, exclaiming that she was ready while trying to push Rose away.

"Wait!" Rose grabbed a pair of earmuffs and tossed them at Rey, grinning. "It's cold out. _Bundle up_."

Rose spun on her heels and retreated into the house, leaving a beet-red Rey standing beside Ben, who found it more endearing then embarrassing that Rey would share his messages with her roommate - combined with the deep blush on her face, it indicated to him that she was genuinely interested. 

"Shall we?"

Rey glanced up at him with a sheepish look, tossing the ear muffs aside, blush melting away slowly.

"Yes please."


	3. seven layer dip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i struggled with this chapter, but i just wanted to get it done so i could move on and write ~the actual date~  
> hope you guys enjoy anyways!! xoxo  
> P.S. snoke sux and will never appear, too ugly

**7:42PM**

Ben's car is nice. Like, _really_ nice. So nice that it catches her off guard and she maybe says 'holy shit' out loud. If Ben hears her, he doesn't comment on it - she does, however, catch him smirk (a little). The car starts so smoothly and quietly that it's almost like she isn't in a car at all. Rey's used to the loud, chunky speeders she used to drive growing up on Jakku, the beat-up junkers students typically drive, and the rumbling repulsortrains that run across Aldera.

"Do you want the seat warmer on?"

"What?"

"The... seat warmer. It warms your seat."

"Oh. Yes please," Rey looks at her knees, fingers tapping gently against the leather of the seat. She's never actually been in a car with seat warmers before - there was no need for something like a seat warmer on a planet like Jakku. Plus, she only had one friend with a car, and Poe _definitely_ didn't have seat warmers. "I know what seat warmers are, just so you know."

Ben gives her an odd look, "I... didn't think otherwise."

Silence falls over them as Ben pulls out of her driveway. It's not exactly an uncomfortable silence - or, maybe it's a _little_ uncomfortable. Rey watches him from the corner of her eye, trying to read his expression, as she starts to feel out of place sitting in this fancy car. She digs her fingers into the leather, feeling it heat up quickly beneath her.

"Your roommate seems nice," he tries, eyes glued to the road.

"Nice?" Ben lets out a short chuckle at her tone.

"Nice," he confirms.

Relieved that Ben's encounter with Rose didn't leave him thinking Rey was an immature little girl or something, Rey relaxes into her seat a little, turning her body towards him slightly. "Well, that's not what I expected you to say about Rose."

"It seems like you are close with each other." It's a simple statement, but the tiny beat before he says close betrays something that's a little like sadness and a little like jealousy.

"We met during first year. I was in mechanical engineering with her for a semester before I switched to the jedi program." The University of Alderaan had a fairly experimental, very new, and the teeniest bit controversial undergraduate degree program centred around the ancient jedi religion. Though not so much viewed as a religion and more like a legend, several academics thought the jedi program had no place in academia, and saw Luke Skywalker as somewhat of a cult leader who was pushing a political agenda. Rey didn't see Luke that way - there were days he seemed to doubt the Jedi more than anyone else, which was was drew her to his classes in the first place. 

"Mechanical engineering?"

"Don't sound so surprised!" Rey feigns offense, swatting his shoulder.

"I only meant... that's not a small change."

"I guess not," Rey laughs, "it was the only thing I knew how to do before I came here, though."

"Mechanical engineering was the only thing you knew how to do?" Ben raises an eyebrow and she realizes how stupid she sounds.

"No, I mean, like, I mostly just fixed speeders and stuff. I worked at a mechanic a bit... it was the only thing I thought I could apply for and get in, I guess. I didn't even know the jedi program was, you know, a _thing_."

"You were going to be a mechanical engineer, and you don't know what a seat warmer is?" Rey swats at him again. He sounds like he's seriously mocking her, though she's _fairly_ sure at this point that that's just his sense of humour (she hopes). In her first few interactions with him Rey thought he was just a prick, but over the course of the semester she started picking up on his quiet sarcasm.

Thankfully the conversation stops there as Ben pulls into the parking lot of the Tosche Station Supermarket.

**8:30PM**

Somehow, Ben lost Rey. Tosche Station was one of the smaller chains in the galaxy and was probably half the size of most grocery stores, and Ben had lost Rey.

He only had a few items he needed to pick up - Ben was typically in and out with exactly what he planned to buy, but Rey did not shop like that at all. He found himself trailing, stopping, waiting, drifting behind her and she plucked items here and there, reading labels with a surprising amount of genuine interest, placing them back while making scattered comments about what looked good, or had pretty packaging, or that she'd never had before. The basket he was carrying was now full with approximately double the amount of things he intended to purchase - specifically, for instance, the cereal that she _ohmygodhaventhadsinceIwasnine_ and the seven layer dip that _whatdoyoumeanyouveneverhadsevenlayerdip_.

After selecting cuts of Bantha steak for dinner, Ben turned around, and she was gone - eventually, he finally found her in dairy aisle, bizarrely, where she was looking at milks.

"Did you know they sold blue milk?"

"Yes, of course," Ben noted absent-mindedly; blue (and lately, green) milk had been a staple in his uncle's fridge since before he was born, and Han and Leia had frequently kept it in their own homes since Luke was over nearly constantly.

Rey scoffed at him, " _I've_ never seen blue milk before. Maybe I just never noticed."

He blinks at her, and then puts a bottle in his basket. "Are you ready to leave?"

"Oh. Um. Yes, sorry."

Ben heads directly to the self-scanners before feeling Rey's hand on his arm. "Did you want anything else?"

"Oh, no. But, um, if we do self check-out how will we split it?"

"Split what?"

"Um... the bill...?"

"Don't worry about it." Rey attempts to protest, but Ben continues his brisk pace and scans everything as quickly as possible, itching to be away from the omnipresence of flourescent light.

As they walk to his car, each of them carrying a plastic bag (despite Ben's insistence that he could, in fact, carry both), Rey mumbles what sounds like a 'thank you'.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, um, thank you. For buying everything. And for grabbing that extra stuff, I didn't realize you got the dip and-"

"I wanted to."

Ben can feel Rey's eyes on him but he can't bring himself to look at her, knowing he'd say something that was either too forward, or somehow offensive. He smiles at her second mumbled 'thank you'. Ben hears Luke in his head saying _Leia's gonna love her_ for at least the fifth time that night and he thinks about his mother, and then he thinks about his father, and then he thinks about them meeting her, and he feels resentment bubbling inside him like he's going to throw up. 

And then he looks at Rey, biting her lip, running her finger tips over buttons and knobs on the dashboard, forehead scrunched up - and it's okay.

**8:52PM**

> ok remember how i said his car was nice  
> his apartment is like even nicer somehow idk  
> _pics or it didnt happen!!_  
> omfg stop I'm not taking pics!  
> _come on gf im sooo bored_  
> _SEND PICS_

Rey glances at Ben's turned back, his massive shoulders hunched slightly over the kitchen counter and she opens up the camera on her phone, triple checks that both flash and sound are off, and takes a bunch of probably blurry photos while keeping her eyes glued to him then quickly sends them all to Rose.

> _HOLY SHIT_  
> _when ur sexy ta is loaded_  
> _lock that shit DOWN_

Rey holds her laugh in and shoves her phone into her pocket. Ben clears his throat and turns around and starts digging through the grocery bags and pulling things out, laying everything out on the impeccable kitchen counter. This is probably one of the nicest kitchens Rey has ever seen - the appliances all look brand new, all of the counters are black and shiny (granite?), and it has an _island_. Rey has always wanted a kitchen with an island, with bar stools exactly like the one she's perched in.

Rey watches as Ben roughly opens a bag of chips, shakes them into a bowl, then proceeds to pop the lid off of the seven layer dip (that she cannot  _believe_ he bought it). He pushes a single chip deep into the dip, scooping out a decent amount of six of the seven layers, and puts the entire (fairly large, chip-wise) thing in his mouth. Crunching, he nods and gives her an awkward thumbs up, then pushes both chip and dip across the island towards her.

"Snack," is all he says, rolling up his sleeves to his elbows.

For a while, they're both quiet. Both of them try a few conversation topics here and there, but nothing quite clicks. Every sound feels a thousand times louder than it should be - every crinkling and ripping when Ben pulls out an ingredient, every crisp  _chop_ of Ben cutting vegetables, even the suction sound of the fridge opening. Rey wants to offer to help make dinner, and she knows once she does at least a few of the knots in her stomach will start to unwind and they might (hopefully) jump this chasm of discomfort. She starts paying attention to the big freckles that dot his skin sparsely, trying to count them and playing a game in her head that if she can count high enough, she'll be able to say something.

Rey inhales. "Is there anything I can help with?"

Ben looks up at her, and it feels like forever until he says anything.

"Would you finish cutting these vegetables for the salad?" 

"Sure."

Rey slides off the stool and slides around the counter, and awkwardly takes the knife from Ben, who lingers over her. For a moment, Rey thinks he leans into her - one of his big, calloused hands rests on the counter with his body twisted toward her, and Rey can't help but graze her eyes over the tendons of his forearm. After he finally steps away, Rey starts on the vegetables. If anyone had told her before her class today that she would be making a salad in Ben Solo's apartment at nine o'clock at night, she would have laughed.

Over the next half hour the two of them ease into a more comfortable silence, exchanging quiet laughs as they step around each other lightly. Rey eventually returns to her seat, where she continues digging her way through the seven layer dip. Ben turns around a few times to lean over the counter and help her excavate the huge container.

"Almost ready," Ben isn't facing her when he speaks, instead he's bent over the stove, tending to a large pan. "Bantha steak tastes best rare, in my opinion. And in most smugglers' opinions."

"And how would you know what smugglers think?"

"I have my sources."

"What gave you the idea for  _Bantha_ steak anyways?"

Ben slides a plate towards her, a small smile on his face. "My uncle grew up on Tattooine, and Bantha is very popular there." 

Rey looks down at the sizzling, juicy-looking steak and the kind-of-messy salad (Rey isn't very good at cutting cucumbers) and she realizes this might be the first time someone's ever actually cooked for her. The closest she'd ever had before was Poe and Finn's botched attempt at barbecuing, or the time when she was sick and Rose made her chicken noodle soup (from a can). Ben Solo, her moody and weird TA, who she'd had a crush on for approximately 4 months now, cooked for her.  _Just_ for her. On a date.  

A popping sound breaks Rey from her reverie, and Ben Solo pours her a glass of wine. 

 

 


	4. blue milk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey its me back at it. i didnt realize i uh took so long. lots of love and kisses. i went back to read my last chapters to catch myself up and lol'd that i said snoke would never be in it bcuz he's too ugly. i was right his big head is getting NOWHERE near this
> 
> btw poll: is it cool if obi-wan is just.... alive?????????????? thx

**9:38PM**

Ben slides into the seat next to her, and Rey notices for the first time that his pants are corduroy - beige corduroy to be specific. Combined with the thick grey button up he's wearing, with his sleeves rolled up showing off his thick forearms, he looks the idealized picture of the cute collegiate boy who only exists in movies. All he needs is a pair of glasses, and he's the picture-perfect hot professor.

Since she first saw Ben in class, she'd... daydreamed about him, to put it simply. If this were taking place in one of her little fantasies, Rey would be leaning back on the bar stool, wine glass cradled between her fingertips while she laughs mysteriously, or something, brushing her hand against Ben's forearm while flirting effortlessly. She's polished and clever in the imaginary version of this night, and in it she can hold a conversation at length about her very expansive knowledge on the jedi - what exactly she knew that was so impressive, she wasn't sure. In your daydreams the substance never really matters.

Instead, sitting square in her chair, Rey feels like she doesn't fit. In this apartment, eating this meal, with this man. She was starting to feel like she couldn't measure up - or worse, that he couldn't measure up to the person she'd made him about to be.

"Do you... like wine?"

Rey zones back in, realizing all too quickly she'd been staring at her full wine glass for probably longer then is comfortable for another person.

Ben starts to get up, saying "I have other beverages," and Rey grabs for his ( _extremely_ firm) arm, and he looks at her. She sees the nervousness all over his face, and all of her doubts wash away. Ben Solo isn't as dark and mysterious as this romantic figure she and Rose joked that he'd be, but would she even _want_ him to be? She likes his awkwardness, and his overly-direct bluntness, and his strange brand of sweetness. Maybe he had expectations too, but maybe those expectations were nothing like the person she wanted herself to be.

He was the one who asked her out, anyways.

"The wine is nice," she reassures him, keeping her grip on his arm until he sits back down. She really, _really_ cannot get over how firm his arms are. Briefly she wonders if the rest of him is that rock solid.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," she says it with a smile, confidence creeping back into her. _He_ was the one who asked _her_ out, she repeats to herself. He spent an hour cooking for her. He texted her three times in a row. He _liked_ her.

Nothing ever matches the way you imagine it, and that's okay.

Maybe it's better.

 

* * *

 

Throughout dinner, Rey keeps tapping her shin against his, and every time she looks at him it's like she has this knowing little smirk on her face. She chews through her steak slowly, making Ben worry she doesn't like steak. Maybe cooking steak was too forward. Maybe cooking in general was _way_ too forward. Maybe they should've just gone to Cloud City and endured Lando's endless teasing and a very long phone call from his mother. Or maybe Ben should have just opened Yelp. Throughout dinner these thoughts rise up in his head like little bubbles, and each time she bumps his leg, it's like they pop.

"So, what made you start studying the force?"

Ben swallows hard. A simple, get-to-know-you question with a complicated, get-to-know-you-way-too-much-too-soon answer.

"My family is very... involved with the jedi."

"Really?"

"Yes."

He can feel her eyes on him, definitely expecting at least a little more detail from his answer. But his throat is dry, and Ben doesn't think he can bring himself to explain... anything. He wouldn't even know where to begin, between his parents and grandparents and his uncle and all the other borderline mythical people in his life.

Rey leans back in her chair, head tilted to the side. "They must be so interesting. Your family, I mean."

"Interesting is a good word for them." Luke's sing-song voice echoes in his head again, _Leia's gonna love her_ , and he pictures Rey shaking his mother's hand. Leia would love her, and so would Han. Ben can picture it so clearly, and it evokes the strangest feeling inside him. One that's not entirely positive. 

"I can't even imagine growing up around the force and everything. I'm a little envious."

"Don't be. I'm sure your family is very interesting in their own way." Rey looks away from him quickly when he says this and grows very, very quiet. Ben's stomach drops. "I apologize. I should not have asked. I know how sensitive family matters can be."

"It's okay," Rey swallows hard. "I, um, don't have any family, actually."

Ben doesn't know what to say. There's a part of him that's almost jealous, but even he knows how callous it would be to say something like that. Rey isn't saying anything, and Ben finds himself floundering for words. Apologizing feels wrong, and trying to relate feels worse.

"Don't worry. It's fine."

There's the smallest crack in her voice, and Ben recognizes it all too well.

"It doesn't have to be fine."

Rey looks away from him, head down, and he feels like a weight is pressing down on him as they sit in silence.

"Luke is my uncle."

Rey turns her head sharply to look at him, eyebrows arched high, mouth slightly agape. Somehow, this was the only thing Ben could deem an appropriate response to Rey essentially telling him she was an _orphan_. It was almost like an admission of guilt.

"Professor Skywalker?"

"Yes."

"Is your uncle?"

"Yes."

"I... oh. I didn't know."

"It's the university's worst kept secret."

"Well... that's..." Rey is staring at him. Ben isn't sure if this is worse, or better, then the orphan conversation. "That must be amazing."

Ben winces. "It's better between us, now. It wasn't always."

Rey's face softens, "it must be a lot to grow up around."

"It was." Something bubbles up inside Ben again, and all he can think about is how ridiculous it was to make this about him. She shared something personal with him, and he completely turned it around. _Typical_. This was the kind of thing he and Yoda had spoken about at length during his apprenticeship. Selfishness, anger, resentment. "I'm grateful for him, now."

"He was the reason I transferred into the jedi program."

"Luke was?"

"Yes. I took one of his classes as a breadth requirement in first year and I just... fell in love with it."

"He thinks you have a lot of potential."

Rey brightens, like a flower opening to the sun. "He does?"

"Of course. Your work caught both of our eyes." He says it like it's obvious, because it is. Ben had taken notice of her at first because of her performance in one of the practical labs. Her marks weren't as good as they probably should have been, because the university was strict when it came to grading processes (something that ruffled Luke on a very regular basis), but there'd been something about the way she expressed herself through the force that was truly special. He'd noticed it, and Luke had noticed it.

"Are you being serious?"

"I'm usually quite serious."

Rey laughs then, covering her mouth, but Ben stays silent, eyes glued to her.

"No, you're not. And I'm nowhere near the top of the class," she attempts to brush it off, but Ben is quick to cut her off.

"That's irrelevant."

"Professor Skywalker always rips my writing apart," she says after a beat. Her laughter's stopped.

"With Luke... the harder he is on you, the more invested he is."

It's something that took Ben almost his entire life to learn. Before Luke started working at the university, he was training padawans independently, including Ben. It was difficult, being his nephew, and trying to learn from him alongside everyone else. It always felt like he couldn't _quite_ meet Luke's expectations, or even when he did meet them that the bar had already been raised. It was never enough, and it burned him out while he was young, so badly that he'd almost turned to the dark side.

And now that Luke had somehow become a tenured professor for the University of Alderaan, Ben had come to appreciate his uncle for all his unorthodox methods. It had been a difficult process, bringing the jedi into academia and turning it into a degree program that was academically rigorous enough to meet the university's standards. Practical force techniques weren't exactly the easiest thing to grade. It infuriated Luke to no end, but Ben had found that despite all of the politics of academia, Luke's commitment to teaching was renewed in a setting like this. Taking a job as his TA had built a bridge in their relationship, over the rift that had been created years earlier.

"The bantha steak makes sense now," Rey manages, trying to divert the attention away from her.

"As does the blue milk."

"Is blue milk popular on Tatooine?"

"It comes from bantha. It's very popular on the Outer Rim."

By this point, they've both finished eating and pushed their plates across the counter. Ben notices the redness in her face and stands up quickly, not wanting to draw attention to her embarrassment any further, though the smile growing on her face gives herself away. It's not exactly professional, the way he's speaking to her. It's harder striking the line between professional and personal then he was anticipating it would be. "Something sweet?"

"I'd like that, please."

Ben shuffles around his kitchen, looking for the brownies he'd bought earlier. He pours them both glasses of blue milk to wash them down.

 

* * *

 

**10:45PM**

They've moved his living room, and Rey's sitting cross-legged on his big leather couch. There's something a little cold about his apartment decor, or lack thereof. It fits her idea of Ben, but doesn't quite match up with the person Ben seems to really be. 

Ben sets a tray of about six or seven brownies down on the dark coffee table by the couch and holds a glass of blue milk out for her. The first thing Rey does after accepting it is smell it. It's not... exactly like regular white milk, maybe a little thicker and more pungent, but it doesn't necessarily smell... bad.

"It's the best thing for washing down chocolate. I promise." 

And it is. Blue milk is sweet, and not quite as thick as she was expecting, and it washes down the three ( _maybe_ four) brownies she devours. The tension has lifted between them, finally, as if confiding to each other about their uncomfortable childhood baggage had broken the spell of awkwardness. It's long after they've finished the brownies that Rey realizes just how late it is. The past few hours breezed right by the both of them, as they went back and forth over anything from their favourite libraries on campus to their hatred of sand and how it just gets  _everywhere_. Sand planet problems were the same across the galaxy, it seemed.

Over the course of the night Rey had, at some point, stretched her legs out so they were in Ben's lap, with Ben's large hands resting delicately on her shins, as he leaned in towards her. Yawning, Rey looks at her phone for the first time in hours to find out it's well past one in the morning, teasing texts from Rose popping up on her lock screen from as early as twenty minutes ago.

"I had no idea how late it was!"

"I'll drive you home."

"Oh, it's okay, I'll take the train."

"Look outside."

Rey turns her head to see a layer of snow blanketing the buildings around them. The skyline of Aldera sits dimly in the distance, partially covered by the falling snow. 

"Are you sure?"

"I have winter tires."

Ben Solo is so matter-of-fact about  _everything_ , and it makes her smile, just a little. There's no beating around the bush with him. Ben makes a movement to get up and Rey almost wants to tell him she wants to stay longer, but saying something like that would carry a certain implication, and she isn't quite ready to cross that bridge yet.

So Rey pads after Ben Solo towards the door to his apartment, and she can't help but blush as he holds her coat for her to put on. He stands notably close to her on the elevator, and the sheer height he has on her makes the lack of distance between them all the more noticeable. It's like he towers over her, and Rey really has a hard time keeping her heartbeat down. Even more so when his large hand lands on the small of her back and guides her through the parking garage. 

The ride home is a blur as her exhaustion catches up with her, almost making her nod off in the bizarre quiet of his car.

Ben goes as far to walk her all the way to her door and stands on the last stair - even with him on a lower plane, he's still taller than her. They both just stand for a moment, looking at each other.

"This was _probably_ the best date I've been on," Rey says quietly. Ben looks down at his feet with that sheepish grin the way he does in class when he makes a joke. 

"I would like to go on more of them. With you." 

"Um, sounds like a plan, then. Good night."

Rey doesn't try to back away as she says it, though, and Ben makes no movements either. The snow is falling quietly around them as they stand in silence, waiting for the other to make any kind of move. The look on Ben's face has turned strangely serious, and he won't break eye contact with her. Building up her courage, counting the freckles that dot his pale face, she leans forward and quickly places a kiss on his cheek before attempting to dart toward her front door.

She doesn't get far, though, as Ben steps up to her porch in a quick stride, and catches her hips as she turns around. He bends down towards her, pressing his lips to hers almost chastely. Rey stretches up on her tiptoes in a feeble attempt to get closer to him, when Ben almost folds his body into hers, shoulders caving in around her giving her the opportunity to wrap her arms around his neck and draw him in. 

For all his intensity, there's something shy about the way he kisses her.The moment is so tender that it feels like he might break if she squeezes too hard.

It's a long moment before he lets her go, dark eyes boring into her like he's searching for something. Ben takes her face in his large hands and kisses her forehead as softly as he kissed her lips, and retreats back to his car with a small smile on his face. 

It takes Rey a few minutes before she actually goes inside, greeted by a Rose that  _definitely_ saw the whole thing from the tiny little window on the door. 

 


End file.
